Terrorist Alert at Luton Airport - Sinister Suspect: Dodgy-Looking Old Lady

Overzealous security staff at Luton Airport get heated and
threaten that abusive behaviour awaits me at Tel Aviv's
 Ben Gurion Airport. Photo: Tel Aviv, Copyright Janet Cameron

This happened in 2013, but it had such an effect on me it's as though it was yesterday. And all because of the metal bracelet.

When the bell rang as I walked through the scanner at Luton Airport, I was happy to relinquish my metal bracelet, which was immediately taken away for further investigation. As requested by security staff, I returned back through the scanner. There were no incriminating bell-like sounds and so I assumed I was clear. After all, to most people, this absense of scanner response might seem an indication that the bracelet was responsible for the original warning bell and not a ticking bomb strapped round my middle. But not to Luton Airport security. And so, the drama commenced.

Thoroughly Frisked and Scanned

I had to ask for a chair, so I could remove my lace-up boots. One was, eventually, found. Then I was brusquely told to stand up and lift my arms while a young woman thoroughly frisked me, up and down my body, round and round my waist. It seemed to go on forever. "Do you know, I am 70-years-old," I told the woman, "I can't believe this is happening to me. Do I really look like a terrorist?"  A security man standing nearby decided to pitch in, and asked me where I was going. "To Israel," I replied.

Meantime, the young woman was now working on me with a hand-held scanner, up and down my body. Then I had to place a foot on a stool, first right, then left, so she could work my legs, inside and out. I could feel my face burning with embarrassment, and I continued complaining. "You will get much worse than that in Israel," said the man, who seemed intent on scaring me, while, at the same time, displaying his racism. "They are much worse than we are here. You just wait and see what happens there." He warmed to his theme, enjoying his scaremongering. "I know, because I worked at Sharm el Sheikh," he declared.

Sharm el Sheikh is, of course, in Egypt but I suppose that was near enough for him!

Suffer in Silence?  Not me!

I accept I can be pretty vocal when I feel my personal space is being abused for no good reason, especially when I am feeling humiliated. So, I dare say that I had triggered his reaction. Even so, I thought those picked for that job, involving as it does, the potential for upsetting people, would have been trained to show some respect and exhibit calming behaviour, never mind the blatant racism! But no such luck.  I replied that I had "evidence" to show that my entry was genuine, (photos and identity numbers of my friends) but that, it seemed, would make no difference. I began to feel afraid, wondering if it was true and that I might be abused, and whether, maybe, I shouldn't have come.

Eventually, I was allowed a chair to replace my boots and my bracelet was returned. I was travelling, mostly, with Israelis and was shown considerable kindness, a willingness to help me with my case and allow me to go in front of them and I felt quite touched by this. Later, on the plane, I found I was sitting next to two young Israeli men. They were surprised when they discovered I'd thrown my bracelet in the rubbish bag brought around by the flight attendants. I'd actually discarded it quietly, without a fuss, placing it between some other rubbish to conceal it, but I guess the flight attendants check everything out. They brought it back to me. I said it had got me into trouble with security and I didn't want it anymore. The truth was I was so fazed by the experience I didn't want ever to lay eyes upon that bracelet again.

Insensitive

"You didn't have to throw away your bracelet," said one of the young men. "No Israeli security officers would search you like they did at Luton because of a metal bracelet." The men said that their security were trained to search out real suspects and that, in no way, did I fit the terrorist profile. In the unlikely event that a search was appropriate, as a woman of mature years, I would have been taken to a private room, not subjected to such an embarrassing ordeal in public.

Clearly, the men were also concerned that their countrymen had been so maligned by the insensitive British security officer. Then they said that they wanted to make it up to me for what had happened to me at Luton.

I Enter Israel in Style in a Chauffeur-Driven Car

So it was, that on arrival at Tel Aviv, they, together with another young woman travelling with them and "yours truly" were picked up by a chauffeur driven diplomatic four-wheel drive and whisked off to the checkout, bypassing the long queue of Easyjet passengers trailing across the tarmac. The Israeli officer glanced over my passport and presented it back to me with my diplomatic pass, headlined in both Hebrew and English "State of Israel - Border Control" and on the reverse: "Keep as a certificate of Border Control approval."  It would, explained my Israeli Knights in Shining Armour, also serve me on my return journey. They wanted me to know that Israelis had more respect for older people than their British counterparts and were smart enough to sniff out the real suspects.

I would have liked to stick up for my own nation, but how could I after such a demonstration of inadequacy followed by the kind and gentle treatment of the Israelis I'd encountered? One can only speak as one finds! My return journey was equally unproblematic, more so because of the pass, but I did observe the Israeli attitude toward my fellow passengers at Ben Gurion Airport and no one was being treated as I had been treated at Luton.

I have always, previously travelled from Gatwick, and although security is stringent there, there does seem to be a better system and a certain respect for passengers. 

I will most definitely avoid Luton Airport in future. 

Sir Joseph Dalton Hooker - an Introduction to the First Director of Kew Gardens

Rhododendron argenteum
illustration by Walter Hood Fitch
from Rhododendrons of Sikkim Himalaya.

Sir Joseph Hooker was born at Halesworth in Suffolk on 30 June 1817 and was the son of a botanist, Sir William Hooker. His mother was also a botanist and Hooker later describes himself as "The Puppet of Natural Selection. " 

He had one older brother and three younger sisters. In an autobiographical fragment quoted on jdhooker.org.uk, he tells how, in the dirty city of Glasgow as a tot in petticoats, while "grubbing around" a wall, he became enormously excited at the discovery of a special, pretty little moss, rather like one in his father's collection, and to which he took "a great fancy."

Hooker was the first director of the Royal Botanic Gardens at Kew in 1841. He received a medical degree from Glasgow University and was assistant surgeon to Sir James Clark Ross's expedition to the Antarctic from 1839 to 1843. He was married twice.

Darwin and Hooker - Firm Friends for Twenty Years

Hooker became a close friend of Charles Darwin, whom he met when Darwin invited him to classify the specimens he collected while on the Beagle expedition to the Galapagos Islands in 1844. Hooker provided an empathetic listening ear for Darwin's ideas about evolution by natural selection, and he was the only person Darwin trusted enough to examine his "Essay" which was the euphemism he used for the early manuscript later to become his great work The Origin of Species. Darwin and the younger, energetic botanist, Joseph Dalton Hooker, became firm friends till Darwin's death on 19 April 1882.

A Distinguished Career in Botany

From 1847 to 1851, Joseph Hooker travelled to India and the Himalayas to collect plants from the area, where he discovered three new mosses. In 1855, he became his father's assistant at Kew Gardens and when William died ten years later, Joseph took over as director. He travelled to Palestine in 1860, to Morocco in 1871 and to the United States in 1877, the same year that he became a knight.

Sir Joseph Dalton Hooker died on 10 December 1911, aged 94.

Published works

·                                 Genera Plantarum, written with George Bentham, a volume which classified every known plant genus at that time.

·                                 A revision of George Bentham's Handbook of the British Flora, a standard guide during the 1950s.

Sources:

·                                 "The World of Nature," Readers' Digest Library of Modern Knowledge, Second Edition, 1979.

·                                 www.jdhooker.org.uk

·                                 Charles Darwin and his World, Julian Huxley and H.B.D. Kettlewell, Book Club Associates, London, 1975.

Marrakech - Inner and Outer City Double-Decker Bus Rides

Photo Copyright Janet Cameron

See the the sights - a delightful and affordable way to enjoy Marrakech.   

Probably the nearest thing you can get to a bargain in Marrakech is the double-decker bus ride around the city which costs, at the time of writing, 149 Dirham (around £4.50)  It's a hop-on / hop-off arrangement, stopping at major landmarks and hotels around the city. Not only that, your ticket will also cover you for a further trip around the outskirts of the city, for a real sub-Saharan experience. Some friends and I spent the whole day on the buses and it was genuine value for money.

The bus arrived at the hotel reception at 10 o'clock. After that, they run about every half-an-hour till early evening.

Sitting at the top of the bus, right at the front, is the best way to see the city. The beautiful mosques of Morocco are typically in the form of a tall tower, unlike the domed mosques I have seen in West Africa and England. The Koutoubia Mosque is located in the medina's south-west quarter of Marrakech, and is a stunning sight with its decorative arches, especially at night when the gardens are floodlit.

A common sight on the city street, amidst the hustle and bustle of buses, tourist vehicles, cars, motor bikes and cycles (as well as jaywalkers) are the working donkeys and carts, and the horses and carriages, a novelty ride intended for the tourists. Sadly, some of the animals are poorly cared for and whipped to make them gallop on the road surfaces, which is bad for horses.

The market itself is a fascinating place, and the main area is full of roaming street sellers, stalls, snake charmers and monkeys. The snakes are nocturnal and as a result, have evolved into blind creatures. The upright position of attack they assume is because they sense heat and noise and are threatened by it. If you want to take a photo like this, be aware you are expected to pay your subjects for the privilege.

Many of the market stalls sell a wide variety of delicious nuts, dried fruits and other delicacies. The sellers will always hike up the price and are prepared for you to haggle, but if you do haggle, they natually expect that an agreement will be reached and that you will buy something, which seems reasonable enough. Some tourists haggle until the price has been reduced and then walk away, and this is seen as dishonourable and time-wasting by the sellers. It's best not to be lacking in self-assertiveness and allow yourself to be cheated, but, at the same time, the Moroccans expect foreigners to play fair.

There are so many attractive buildings in Marrakech and the top of the bus was by far the best way to see them all properly within a day. Below is the Palais des Congres:

It's necessary to change to a different bus in order to complete the outer circular route around the city. You change fairly close to the market, and the driver will tell you when you reach the correct stop. Once you are off on the new bus, you will soon be gazing at wide swathes of olive trees, orange trees or palm trees, and you are sure to spot groups of camels gathered, often at road junctions.

The market really wakes up as dusk falls, so it's not a bad idea to return there early, maybe do a little shopping and then have a bite to eat. You can get a great meal for around 45 Dirham, (around £3.)  Then, as darkness falls and the heady smoke from the cooking and the barbecues starts to assail your nostrils, you can enjoy the excitement of the buzz and bright lights as everyone gets ready to have fun. The noise and bustle are truly something to remember.

And - finally - you can hardly go anywhere in the world without finding one of these. So if you do start to get homesick, you can take a nostalgic trip down Memory Lane

Berlin's Bronze Age "Wizard Hat" - What does it Signify?

The Berlin Wizard Hat
Image Philip Pikart 

The Berliner Goldhut is believed to have been used as the insignia of priests around 800-1000 years B.C. Now academics have discovered it had an even more important purpose.

In Neues Museum in Berlin, there is an extraordinarily fine example of a goldsmith's art. It looks like a tall wizard's hat and it dates from the late Bronze Age, over 3000 years ago. The "hat" is one of four similar conical artifacts discovered in the nineteenth and twentieth centuries in Europe, (one in France and two others in Southern Germany.) The specimen in Berlin, thought to be made of organic material covered in fine gold leaf, is considered to be the best of the four and the only one that is fully preserved.

A Single Find with No Provenance

Described as a "single find", there was no evidence for its history or chronology when the artifact came to the Neues Museum in 1996. Academics and researchers were confused as to why people who were alive during the Bronze Age would construct such an intricate artwork, when it was all they could manage to simply survive. These were people who made weapons and tools from copper and its alloy, bronze, and for whom life was hard, short and dangerous.

Yet, research indicates that the beautiful, golden, conicular artifact, like the other three surviving cones, is actually an astronomical calendar, and was probably worn as a headdress by a priest or holy man. Besides its spiritual significance, it also had a practical use, as religious events could be logged. It was described as "lunisolar", because the calendar determined both lunar and solar dates.

A Complex Mathematical System

The mathematical methods that were applied to the calendar have not yet been fully deciphered, but it appeared to work by calculating in units of 57 months. Each symbol represented a single day. The number of symbols per zone were multiplied with the number of rings or circles within each of the symbols.

Amazing that we, today, think ourselves so smart and so advanced. How did our simple Bronze Age ancestors achieve all this with their limited facilities and knowledge? Perhaps they were much more intelligent, artistic and resourceful than we ever supposed.

Sources:

·      "Inside the Pergamon and Neues Museums, Berlin", TV Documentary,Yesterday, 12 January 2012, 2.00pm. Originally:Kensington TV, Toronto, Site Accessed: 12 January, 2012.

·      Neues Museum, Berlin

How to Survive Long-Distance Coach Travel

Long-distance coach travel is a cheap alternative for travellers. Be well-prepared to help minimise the discomfort of restricted movement and boredom. 

Looking after your mind, body and spirit will help you to survive long-distance coach or bus journeys. Long hours spent sitting still, sometimes overnight, unwashed, maybe bored and without being able to lie down, can get you off to a bad start to your holiday. A few simple precautions can help.

Relax your Mind

One of the benefits of long-distance coach travel is that, in most cases you can plan your journey so that you leave and return at times convenient to you, which is not always the case with flights, especially not with cheap flights. I find the best time to leave by coach if you have a 20/30 hours journey is early or mid-afternoon. This means the daylight hours are split by the one overnight stint and it's certainly more congenial to arrive at your destination in daylight hours, especially if you are on a budget and relying on public transport to complete the last leg of your journey.

A money belt would be a good idea for stowing your cash, travellers cheques, credit cards, passport etc. If you are a single female traveller it could be a good idea to sit close to the front in view of the driver's rearview mirror to help ensure you are not harrassed.

Let your Body Chill-Out

The following items can help you to travel more comfortably:

Compression socks, sometimes know as "flight socks," are easily available in pharmacies and help to avoid deep vein thrombosis. Their effect will be enhanced if combined with a few lively exercises, for example, toe wiggling and circling ankles, as well as disembarking at every comfort break and spending some time walking briskly rather than smoking and drinking extra cups of coffee!

Water is essential, of course, and it's easier to manage in a restricted space if you carry several smaller bottles rather than one large one.

Remember your wet-wipes, so that you will be refreshed externally as well as internally.

Flight pillows can also be purchased in pharmacies and the kind that inflate won't take up too much space in your luggage. These work quite well even when you are sitting upright. Or, if you are lucky enough, as a single traveller, to get a double seat to yourself, you can use the pillow lying down with your body curled into a foetal position on the seat.

There are cunning ways for single travellers to get a double seat to themselves. This obviously depends on how full the coach or bus is, as single travellers generally gravitate to any free window seats. Once all these are taken, subsequent passengers will go for the least problematic spaces. These could be the spaces nearest the point of passenger access - often the middle of the coach - and so it may help to sit at the front or the back. People who stretch out across the seat with closed eyes and a blanket over them are less likely to be asked to share than those sitting straight up and looking perky! It may not be fair, but that's how it is.

Another good idea is to take a mask with you - absolutely essential if a passenger near to you has their reading light on when you want to sleep.

Nurture your Spirit

Take a book or, preferably, a Kindle or Kobo as these take up less space and carry plenty of books. But I prefer not to begin reading until I'm bored of the view from the window. I like to see something of the countries I'm travelling through to my destination and you don't get that advantage when you're flying. Also, reading later can help to induce sleep.

Listening to music on your ipod is another good way to pass the time, or surfing on your computer if you decide to carry it with you.

For other pleasant time-passing exercises you could try a crossword puzzle book or simply close your eyes and meditate by concentrating on your breathing and gradually phasing out the intrusion of noises around you - just listen to the beautiful silence behind the din. It's always there. But to do this completely successfully will be easier if you have practised first in a guided meditation environment.

Happy travels!

Immanuel Kant on Beauty - Is an artwork good for something, or good in itself?

Immanuel Kant, Public Domain

Immanuel Kant (1724-1804) develops a theory that aesthetic experience is contemplative. He achieves this through the analysis of four "Moments" which are aspects of quality, quantity, relation and modality, and these produce aesthetic feeling in the perceiver. This feeling is detached from any issues of desire, personal interest or will, and lead to a sense of disinterested one-ness with the thing itself.

The First Moment demonstrates that, in order to discern beauty, we need to use our imagination... "acting, perhaps, in conjunction with understanding." According to Kant's Critique of Judgement, this feeling is subjective and, therefore, neither cognitive nor logical.

Kant states, "Every one must allow that a judgement on the beautiful, which is tinged with the slightest interest, is very partial and not a pure judgement of taste."  This judgement needs to be separate from what gives delight merely because it is agreeable, ie. pleasing to the senses. Such enjoyments are gratifications of inclination or desire, or, in the case of reason, of the will. Reason may dictate that a thing is useful. If so, it only pleases as a means to an end. Thus, it is "good for something" and Kant makes a clear distinction between what is "good for something" and what is "good in itself."

The agreeable may not be good; in other words, it may have disagreeable consequences. If, as Kant says, "agreeableness is enjoyment," he points out that this may not be good if it has been procured by unscrupulous means. "Happiness, with all its plethora of pleasures, is far from being the unconditioned good."  The agreeable, the good and the moral good may be partial to an interest. "For the good is the object of will, ie. a rationally determined faculty of desire."

Kant concludes this Moment by observing that the agreeable and the good are stimulated by desire, with a bond between the subject and the real existence of the object. But the judgement of taste, ie. the beautiful, differs through its disinterested feeling; it pleases and produces objective worth for rational, intelligent beings. "For Favour is the only free liking," and this is what is meant by "disinterestedness."

The Second Moment analyses the "subjective universality" attached to object. A subject, feeling disinterested delight, believes that "...he has reason for demanding a similar delight from every one," and will "...speak of the beautiful as if beauty were a quality of the object and the judgement logical."  Agreeableness is personal, a taste or a colour being subjectively agreeable to the perceiver and disagreeable to another. But, to call an object beautiful in itself is to demand a similar response from others. Denial brings forth accusations of deficiency in taste.

The Third Movement examines the ways in which the parts of a beautiful object relate to one another, producing design. This leads to the statement that, "Analogously, a beautiful object is more than the sum of its parts."

The Fourth Moment proposes a "common sense" which is described as a "shared capacity for the exercise of taste."  This specifies that if taste is unimpaired, there must be agreement about what is beautiful. The point is to judge something beautiful subjectively and without concepts, and to do so universally.

Can Disinterestedness be Recognised?

Kant's account of aesthetic experience is consistent and, therefore, mostly satisfactory, although there are inadequacies. Diane Collinson states in her essay "Aesthetic Experience" in Philosophical Aesthetics, "Aesthetic experience, although traditionally linked to beauty, need not be confined to the experience of the beautiful."  But, even if we accept aesthetic experience as being related only to beauty, it is still inadequate, for it excludes the beauty of nature. Collinson quotes from a theory on aesthetic experience by Edward Bullough on encountering a fog at sea: "...note the curious, creamy smoothness of the water... a flavour of such concentrated poignancy and delight." Through a combination of mingled repose and terror, we are distanced from self. This is surely "disinterestedness."  Acceptance of this view exposes Kant's definition of the aesthetic which excludes nature as inadequate.

Further, as Clive Bell's criticism makes clear, Kant's emphasis on beauty, based upon design and independent of colour, is insufficient. Bell is quoted in Collinson's essay: "You cannot conceive a colourless line or a colourless space; neither can you conceive a formless relation of colours." Lines on an engraving cast shadows, so does the outline, detail and features of a statue."  Although contrasts and combinations of strong colours may not be a necessary condition for aesthetic delight, they may contribute much to the final experience of the perceiver. This latter point would not invalidate the essence of Kant's argument, but simply broaden it.

Kant's concept of "disinterested" aesthetic experience may be difficult to achieve, or even to recognise without elements of doubt, due to natural human experience. This is not to say that it may not be aspired to, although it could be that Kant's claim that universality bestows objectivity upon a work is, as explained, inadequate.

Sources:

·      Collinson, Diane, "Aesthetic Experience," Philosophical Aesthetics, Blackwell Publishers in Association with The Open University, 1992.

·      Kant, Immanuel, Reading 14, Theories of Art and Beauty, The Open University, 1991.

Sculptor Philip Jackson - The Power of Body Language and Emotion

Image Copyright Janet Cameron

Inspirational and dramatic, relying heavily on body-language and emotion, Philip Jackson's work is deep and thought-provoking and yet accessible to all. 

Do we respond to works of art for the properties they contain, or because of the way they make us feel? Could it be that by arousing strong and specific emotions, works of art are made more valuable to us?  R.W. Hepburn, in his essay, "Emotions and emotional qualities: some attempts at analysis" tries to address these complex questions.

"Do works of art 'express' emotion, or evoke it, 'represent it' it, 'master' it, 'organise' it, or 'purge' it?" he asks. Is it possible they can do several or all of these things? When we express an emotion about a work of art, is it we, ourselves, who are feeling this emotion? Whether it is joy or sadness, isn't it just subjective?

Yet, there are counter claims that emotions and feelings can be in works of art, and this is what is celebrated about the works of sculptor, Philip Jackson.

Sculptor Philip Jackson's Bomber Command Memorial, consisting of seven nine-foot tall figures of a flight command crew, was unveiled on 28 June 2012. 

Other fine examples of the sculptor's work have been on display in the medieval cloisters of Chichester Cathedral in West Sussex, a venue that provides a beautiful Gothic backdrop. All the photographs here were taken at the exhibition, which was situated in a central and open area of the cloisters. The beautiful surroundings did justice to these stunning and unique figures. 

Emotive and Powerful Artwork says Dr. Sharon-Michi Kusonoki

The sculptures, representing narratives from ancient times to the modern-day, are dramatic, thought-provoking and yet accessible. Senior Curator, Dr. Sharon-Michi Kusunoki praises the elegance and enigmatic qualities of Jackson's artwork, and the power they have to touch people's hearts: 

"Philip Jackson's work is emotive and communicates in a way that is engaging and equally accessible to all ages and classes. Like motionless actors on an elaborate set, its impact is genuine and its qualities should not be underestimated or ignored."

R.W. Hepburn believes that these emotional qualities can be described as being in works of art. He says:

"We speak of a musical note being 'high' or 'low' - the highness or lowness being heard as phenomenally in the note. From this, there is a gentle transition to speaking of a phrase as 'incomplete', 'questioning', or 'nimble'... and on to emotional qualities in the strictest sense like 'melancholy', 'tender', 'plaintive'. 

Hepburn makes similar examples for visual artworks, which can progress from being 'three-dimensional' to being 'awkward and unstable' to being 'comically awkward'.

Public Commissions

It's said that Philip Jackson's art truly portrays the depth and pathos of the human condition, and that it encompasses intrigue and secrets and conspiracy. Since his artworks are imbued with such a strong creative force, it's unsurprising that Jackson has received a number of public commissions which have also resulted in a further impressive body of work. 

Jackson was responsible for the Falklands Memorial in honour of the 255 servicemen who were killed during the conflict. The memorial was unveiled at the National Memorial Aboretum in Staffordshire in 1992 by Prime Minister, Margaret Thatcher.

Hepburn makes the point, however, that the use of the word 'in' with regard to emotion in an artwork cannot be used in the same way when it is experienced within a person. "People experience emotions: works of art do not."

Hepburn makes an interesting point when he says that emotions are named only when there is some utilitarian point in their having names. He explains that art deals little in the repetitive and stereotyped. "Its slant on the world is often in striking contrast to that of workaday utility. The probability, then, is that its emotions should show the same contrast: their namelessness is no argument for their non-existence."

Emotion can be aroused in a person through the way that they interpret something and then experience excitement. This arousal of emotion, being high particularised and differentiated from the everyday world, makes it a possible source of aesthetic value.

Philip Jackson - from 1987 till the Present Day

Philip Jackson, MA, FRBS, FRSA was born in 1944 in Inverness in Scotland. Sculptor to Queen Elizabeth II, Jackson's work is on display not only in cities across the United Kingdom, but also in Argentina and Switzerland. He has an impressive C.V. and has received a vast number of awards and accolades for his exhibitions. Specific details of his achievements can be found here.

His book Philip Jackson Sculptures - Sculptures since 1987, contains 100 quality images of his work as well as an interview with the critic, Sheridan Morley. It costs £30 plus £5.40 p & p in UK.

Sources:

·      Verbal input from Chichester Cathedral staff and Cathedral literary guides. 6 July 2012.

·      Hepburn, R.W. "Emotions and emotional qualities: some attempts at analysis,"Theories of Art and Beauty, ed. Robert Wilkinson, The Open University, 1991.

·      BBC News Accessed 6 July 2012.

·      Philip Jackson Sculptures Accessed 6 July 2012.

Simon Amstell - Where Philosophy Collides with Comedy

Philosophy Makes Friends with Comedy
Public Domain Clip Art from Bing Images

The Guardian describes award-winning comedian, Simon Amstell, as "The real deal where philosophy collides with anxiety; where Heidegger meets Woody Allen." If you've never seen Simon Amstell in action, then as soon as you do, you'll understand exactly what the Guardian reviewer means.

It's true what they say; that this young comedian's honesty is entirely engaging. "Why can't sex just be fun?" he asks on the show, Do Nothing Live. After all, if you say, "Did you enjoy that game of tennis?" you wouldn't expect to be told, "Not really. It was absolutely meaningless!" 

As for mooning his grandmother, a tale told in excruciatingly comic detail... "Well, I was only eleven."

Multi-talented Amstell

Amstell has had a varied career as an actor and a screenwriter, and as a presenter of prime-time shows like Never Mind the Buzzcocks. He was born on 29 November, 1979 at Gants Hill in London and entered the comedy circuit in his early teenage years. Jewish and gay, he uses his sexual orientation to inform his work on stage. 

Amstell has toured and performed in major venues the length and breadth of the UK, including the Edinburgh Festival Fringe. He has two series under his belt, both currently on DVD, Do Nothing and Series 1 of Grandma's House. As well as starring in the latter, he also co-wrote it. Series 2 of Grandma's House will be presented by the BBC during 2012.

Sarcastic!

Yet, early on in his career, Amstell almost sabotaged his own success. A finalist in the BBC's new comedy awards at the age of 14, he landed a spot presenting on Nickelodeon, the satellite channel. Young Amstell tended to be rather sarcastic with his bosses and occasionally not too accommodating towards the children - so he was sacked. But later, he was back in business as a presenter on Channel 4's Popworld. Amstell took over Mark Lamarr's presenting role in Never Mind the Buzzcocks in 2006, then he went on to win the Best Entertainment Performance at the Royal Television Society Awards.

Praise for Simon Amstell

The accolades came thick and fast. "Painfully funny," says the Evening Standard. "One of the most elegant, articulate, sensitive and endearing proponents of Soul Comedy that there is." echoes The Scotsman.

Amstell just carries on, making us laugh in that matter-of-fact, inimitable way he has. "Choose love," he says, "because death is coming." Not many comedians could make a line like that sound so darn funny!

Sources:

·                                 Simon Amstell - Do Nothing Live, BBC3, 20.12.2011.

·                                 www.simonamstell.co.uk

·                                 Simon Amstell Biography, retrieved 22.12.2011.

Andi Oshi - "I thought I'd give it a go!"

Andi Osho was born on 27 January, 1973 in Plaistow, London, of Nigerian parents. She was in television production and then, in 2006, she took up stand-up comedy, working as a receptionist to support her set practice in the evenings.

Osho Nabs a Man for a Date after the Edinburgh Festival

An Edinburgh Festival first was Osho's idea of dragging a man out of the audience each night for a date. In an interview for Edinburgh Festivals Magazine, she admitted to having been "dateless" for three years - and the very first man she picked out of the audience for a date stood her up. She admits her irritation with disarming candour, and one wonders how any man could be so crass as to reject this delightfully funny woman. "But it's not bad to be single," she says, referring to her show All the Single Ladies.

Osho explains how she got started on stand-up. "I'd always wanted to do stand-up and I thought, I'll give it a go and see what happens." Sometimes things did not look so promising. She would go to a gig and there'd be eight people there - but six of them were comedians. A common experience for comedians when they are just starting, but there is a tremendous atmosphere of support and fellow-feeling on most comedy circuits.

Like all good comedy, her material is tight, the one-liners almost tripping over one another in their sharpness and their cutting-edge relevance to today's modern world. She loves to parody race discrimination by turning it around.

Andi Osho - Comedy Genius

In 2007, Osho won the prestigious "Nivea Funny Woman Award," founded in 2003 by Lynne Parker especially for woman comics. She has also appeared in a number of popular television shows, for example, Mock the Week, Tonightly and Stand Up For the Week.

Accolades for Osho's work come thick and fast: "Hilarious" ~ The Sun; "Blazing a Trail," ~ The Telegraph; "Her work pivots on her perfect delivery," ~ The Guardian; "Warm and witty," ~ The Independent.

The last word goes to The Observer: "Andi Osho sends you out of the show feeling uplifted."

You can also find clips for Andi Osho on Youtube.com

Sources:

·                                 Live at the Apollo, BBC One, Friday 25 November 2011.

·                                 Edinburgh Festivals Magazine

·                                 Andi Osho's Website

Atlas Mountains from Marrakech

Copyright Janet Cameron

We were collected by a people-carrier from the hotel. There were about eleven of us.We set off in fairly good spirits, looking forward to seeing these beautiful mountains, whose snow-capped, pearly peaks tantalised us in the distance. The guide knew his stuff and filled us in on points of interest as we passed them.

Before long, he pulled up, explaining that this was a great place for panoramic views and to take our cameras. So we climbed out of the vehicle, full of enthusiasm. There were many great places to take pictures - and many stops.  As we focussed our cameras, a posse of necklace sellers, appeared, as though by magic, from behind boulders and bushes. We suspected a set up, but took some photos and bought some necklaces. 

Next, we were taken to a pottery and encouraged to take our cameras along so we could get more good pictures. The crafts were gorgeous with fascinating designs, and we were treated to a display of pottery-making. The pottery owners, naturally, hoped we would buy, but pots and vases are heavy and awkward to carry and Easyjet would penalise us heavily for the extra baggage. So no one wanted a pot.  As several people remarked, the driver/guide was visibly annoyed with us for not making any purchases, but there was little anyone could do. 

The next stop was in Ourika, where there was a herb garden business, Arom Montagne, Several groups were being shown around, under strict control. We weren't allowed to wander off.  "Would we please follow, this way, this way." The benefits and wonders of each individual plant was described in fine detail. Then we were invited to climb to the upper level. 

On the upper floor, the guide performed a demonstration of the oils and ointments stacked on the shop shelves. Some of us, who had only arrived in Marrakech with hand luggage, were unable to purchase anything due to airline security restrictions. Again, another clash in understanding, although some of us bought tea and similar non-threatening items.

Finally, on to the actual foothills of the Atlas Mountains:

We were stunned by the amazing beauty of our surroundings. Even the boulders and stones in the riverbed were beautiful beyond belief, a mixture of pale pink caused by the iron mineral, and a soft blue-grey. 

Some of the more fit among us climbed higher with the help of a guide, while others just wandered along the river bank. On our walk, we were, repeatedly, accosted by necklace sellers. They are so poor and cannot miss an opportunity to sell their goods. But even willing tourists can only buy so much. There will always be another seller on the heels of the one you have just purchased from. While we felt sorry for them and understood their situation, that they were trying to make a living and put food on the table for their children, it made the trip far more stressful than it should have been.

All the same, it was a fantastic day, full of interest, great culture and surprises.