Thoughts on Public Speaking from an Expert

The Thinker, Image by Daniel Stockman

Why do I do it? 

I'm fine chatting on any subject to around 10-15 people but as soon as there are 50 or 60 plus pairs of eyes focusing on me, my throat just closes. It's not difficult, really, I could just avoid such a situation. But no! Something in me wants to crack this fear of public speaking.

Last week I proposed the motion for the Brighton and Hove Debating Society on the subject, "We need time to think."  I leaned a little bit on John Locke's thoughts on thinking, just to impress everyone with my erudition (hee hee) and then I mentioned some specific instances where people not thinking things through led to doom and disaster and then I put on my posh English teacher's voice and discussed the fact that we all rely on binary oppositions far too much.  

Then I got all sentimental and talked about the quality of our thinking making us into fully realised human beings with sound hearts and minds.

Before anyone threw up, I sat down, but felt quite pleased with myself.

Well, the motion was passed and some kind people complimented me on my delivery.  Phew!!! 

I might even do it again sometime.

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Brighton & Hove's Tango Bootcamp

The shoes didn't work too well. The soles weren't
slippy and I couldn't pivot.

It was fun, for the most part, with sympathetic, professional guidance.

But...


What - exactly - is all this preoccupation with hugging people en masse, especially when you don't know them from Adam?

Don't get me wrong. I'm as huggy and loving and warm as the next person. But, there's hugging - and then there's hugging.
Last evening I went with a friend to learn to tango. Nice hall, friendly people, and we all stood in a circle and grinned rather warily at each other. The couple running the class were clearly experts. All was fine, until I suddenly realised that, yes, this guy was telling me to move around the circle, anti-clockwise, and give each man an enormous hug. And I mean a real, bosom-bashing hug. In effect, this was to prepare us for changing partners while learning to dance the tango.

I panicked. I hyperventilated. My palms were getting hot and sweaty and I contemplated diving for the door and vanishing from this embarrassing ordeal. But I looked at my friend and he seemed pretty threatened too. We hugged. That was okay. We've known each other about five years and have hugged before.

"I don't want to do this," I groaned as I moved to the first male stranger in the circle.

Am I repressed or something? I don't really think so, as dancing with any of those men would have been okay, they were all nice, presentable guys.

But being told you HAD to hug everyone, one after the other, well, it's just so darned contrived. I don't do contrived.

I got through it - somehow - and as I've signed for the course, I suppose I'll have to do it again. I think I'll just turn up a bit late when all the jolly-hockey-sticks hugging is over and done with.

What's wrong with shaking hands?

The Bootcamp

The bootcamp takes place at the Ralli Hall opposite Hove Station on Mondays and at the Latest Bar in Brighton on Wednesdays. Google it if you want details. I'm not posting them as I can't guarantee how long they will be accurate.